Hey there!
My winter vacation has started and my procrastination is at peak too. I'll restart my competitive programming journey tomorrow or maybe today as Ive already delayed it quite a bit. I hope I can reach my local goals by the end of the year. Amen
Note- I again left halfway;)
Just realized that Mark Zuckerberg dropped out of college in his sophomore year, at the age of 19, to build a million-dollar business. I turned 20 this year, and I'm in my pre-final year. Have I missed the train to greatness because I haven't achieved as much as I thought I would by this age?
Sometimes I know what I want, but right now, my mind keeps drifting toward all the possible futures I could have. I know you might be laughing at me — I just escaped my teenage years, after all, and I'm still very young. But yeah, reading about Mark leaving in his sophomore year because he felt that inner calling so early in his career makes me wonder: when will I get mine? Or maybe I’m just not receiving the signal. But how’s that possible? I’m studying communication engineering — I know how to process, encode, and decode signals, whether analog or digital! I just don’t know which form of signal God is trying to send, but I’m pretty sure they don’t teach how to process that kind in college.
But hey, wait! I did get an internship at Adobe this year. So yeah, actually, I have achieved something — one of my goals for this semester! It’s so easy for our brains to forget the things we have now that we once prayed for and start praying for the next bigger and broader goal. So, you and I should be grateful for our past dreams, which have been fulfilled by God. Amen.
— Yatika Jena
(Note: Only 14 days left for my 5th semester to end, and instead of preparing for my exams, I’m writing this. Lord, save me!)
Every time I feel like I’ve reached the threshold of pain I can take, life surprisingly teaches me that I can take more. At this point, I’m questioning what I’m doing in this weird place. Almost every day, I try to find a logical and faithful reason to give to my work. I’m at a stage in my life where I don’t feel joy that much, and I kind of find a different kind of comfort in sadness—and hope… a little hope to become better than who I was yesterday.
Right now, I’m sitting in New SAC (a cool place in my campus where I always wanted to be in my freshman year), trying to write this article in the hope of finding the shortest path to peace and joy in my life. Man, I wish humankind could find the equivalent of Dijkstra’s algorithm for this, so our lives could be better.
I’ve read that “knowledge is that which liberates,” but to be honest, I haven’t felt this yet, and I’m twenty years old now. I don’t even know what the purpose of this article was… oh! I wanted to write a poem at first, but then I diverged into this article.
I haven’t talked to my parents the whole day. My dad called me an hour ago, and I still haven’t called him back. Am I becoming more and more antisocial? I feel like I’m almost failing every day, but this damn mind is a god-level tailor—it always sews beautiful dresses out of threads of unreachable dreams and dreams that seem too good to be true. I really don’t know how I’m able to fail in such beautiful ways, or how beautifully God teaches me that I can take more… take more pain than I ever thought I could.
Now that I’m thinking about my past—when I was learning how to ride a bicycle with my dad—I was so nervous and thought maybe I could never ride a bike or balance myself. But here I am, riding my cycle every day to class!
I once went trekking to one of the highest hills in Assam with my friends. We were a little late when we reached there and were supposed to start trekking early in order to reach back to our camp before sunset. My legs were in excruciating pain because the path was not kind to me, and I thought I would be left behind on that scary mountain since we wouldn’t be able to trek at night. But guess what? I somehow made it back to our camp. Bruh, I really thought I would be sleeping in that jungle lol.
So yeah, I’ve always made it back to the top—even if I was barely performing well in between the process. I know I’ll do just fine. But still, I can’t handle these overwhelming emotions.
God, please never let me quit.
Amen.
— Yatika Jena
PS- If you have read this whole article then you have got an idea of my random thinking skills and yea I jump from one thought to another and those thoughts are not even related to each other. This article will basically give you an idea of how my mind thinks.
Barely 12 days left for my end-of-semester exams! I'll write consistently in the breaks. I really want to score well this time. If I get a good spi which is 9 for me then I'll buy myself a tablet to transform myself into a fully digital person and say good-bye to my physical notebooks and my love for the smell of paper ;)
